This is not what I thought
Sometimes we need to breathe a prayer for our disappointment.
We all have recurring moments in our life where we shake our head in slow remorse repeating,
“This is NOT what I thought.”
Overthinking disappointment
We get married. This is not what I thought.
We have children. This is not what I thought.
We stretch ourselves financially to buy our dream home. This is not what I thought.
We compromise our morals to make someone else happy. This is not what I thought.
We reach our goals. This is not what I thought.
We crucify ourselves on the cross of self righteousness. This is not what I thought.
We give our bodies to be burned. This is not what I thought.
We attend church religiously. This is not what I thought.
We try out a new faith flavor. This is not what I thought.
We travel the world. This is not what I thought.
We help others. This is not what I thought.
We climb the corporate ladder. This is not what I thought.
We try a new restaurant. This is not what I thought.
We have an affair. This is not what I thought.
We give our life to Jesus. This is not what I thought.
Thus, before we know it our whole life becomes one big disappointment because our thinking never aligns with reality.
What if we spent more time changing what we think, instead of changing what we do?
Maybe we can start by praying a prayer for disappointment.
“Positive Thinking” is Googled up to 100,000 times per month.
Prayer for disappointment
Dear God, This is so NOT what I thought it would be. I’m experiencing so much disappointment. I’m not even sure what I thought it would be. But this is not it. I’ve tried every single angle of life that I could think of, and nothing has made me the kind of “happy” I somehow continue to think exists. Not one single thing has made me feel like I thought it would make me feel. Not one single good deed has turned out to produce the tasty fruit I thought it’d produce. I keep praying to you, for you to change me, “Change my heart, Oh God, Make it ever true,” but you never do.
I am still the tired, dissatisfied, negative thinking, doubting Christian carrying a bag of “feel good tricks” that I save for those moments when I need to keep others from seeing through my church clothes, my God costume, my good mom smile and those sweet little Judas kisses I shower all over my husband when other happy couples are looking our way.
When trying harder isn’t enough
I’ve tried trying, not trying, having more faith, living without faith, thinking less, and not thinking at all.
Yet the thoughts still perch on my shoulder when I sleep, when I drive, when I wake, when I try to play without a thought.
The thoughts of disappointment threaten to destroy me
“For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-6
How do we take unruly, unpredictable thoughts captive?
These thoughts are thieves and rob us of living in the moment. This thinking is more than an unwelcome interruptions to our day. These thoughts are violent and vicious intruders that do not want to be taken captive. They will sneak up on us when we least expect them and take advantage of the darkness, the shadows. They will prey on the insecure ports of our souls and take everything that’s for the taking.
LoveLifeLinks.com believes you can change your thoughts and overcome disappointment in your life.
Remember, you can feel love anywhere. Anytime. All the time.
[…] This poem about feeling alone admits that even the luckiest among us experience eye opening moments where we question our path in life. […]