Beauty of youth
My grandmother before wrinkles

1. Beauty isn’t defined by your age

Honestly, there are reasons beauty clichés exist. Because there’s some truth to them.

Yes, everyone says your age doesn’t define you. But what happens when you start aging? It takes a while for this cliché to catch up with you, for you to internalize the truth that your age doesn’t define you.

Some never grasp that internally. Maybe you’ve spent your whole life dreading the big 4-O. Or perhaps you felt like your life of beauty and finesse was over as soon as you reached your thirties. And most fall somewhere in-between.

Our age is often a reason some of us lose our sense of beauty.

However, consider these two thoughts:

First, many people fall in love with someone who is older than them, even much older! It happened to me as one of the most positive life-changing experiences I’ve ever had–falling in love with someone much my senior. If you’ve ever loved someone older, you should know that someone else can also fall in love with you despite your wrinkles and sagging.

Second, if you don’t see yourself giving someone a chance because their appearance is just too old for you, that’s fine. But you must be self-aware enough to realize that the measure by which you judge others, will be the measure by which you judge yourself.

Some women say they feel even more beautiful with age, because they let go of their insecurities and genuinely don’t care as much about what other people think of them. But conversely, there are women who go to great lengths preserving their youth–with multiple plastic surgeries and Botox.

So, yes for some, beauty is defined by age. But this is your choice.

age doesn't define your beauty
My grandmother post-youth

From personal experience, my grandmother was the classiest woman I know. Despite growing up with a poor economic status–when her 5 boys left home, she finally had the chance to take focus on herself.

When she visited, I often observed her in front of the mirror, meticulously fluffing her hair. She never wore makeup and in her older age, had quite a few wrinkles. But the way she carried herself made up for all of that. My grandmother also chose her clothes meticulously.

One day, I want my children to see me how I saw my grandmother, truly beautiful from the inside out. Her age didn’t define her, but then again, it did. You can decide to look at yourself and others with love, beyond the exterior of physical characteristics, or you can continue to let age negatively define you.

2. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

This is so true and related to our previous insight. Have you ever seen a couple in public who seem to be mismatched where looks are concerned? Maybe you say to yourself,

“Wow! How did he get her? Or how did she get him?”

Based on your inner perception of beauty, their relationship makes no sense to you. In order for you to make sense of their union you’d have to get to know them more closely.

feel beautiful
Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

This is also true in your relationship to self.

  • What do you see when you look in the mirror?
  • When you behold your reflection, do you see beauty or do you see ugliness?
  • Do you feel pretty or do you feel ugly in your own skin?

Some of us have had the good fortune to meet someone who sees our beauty before we can see beauty in ourselves. This can help tremendously when it comes to jumpstarting the improvement of our self-image. However, we do not have to wait for someone to see us as pretty before we recognize our own beauty. Begin to do the work of seeing your beauty through your own eyes. Don’t focus on what you perceive to be your flaws. Focus on your positive traits, both inner and outward.

Transform your perception of you.

3. Feeling beautiful can often be tied to physiological factors

We can’t leave out the physiological factors that come into play, especially for women, when it comes to feeling beautiful. Some women report feeling jarringly ugly at certain times during their reproductive cycle (I’m one of them).

Feel ugly when I'm on my period
My period makes me feel like an ogre! Photo by cottonbro studio

They go to bed feeling beautiful and wake up feeling like an ogre. It’s as if, your sense of beauty was a lie all along. Therefore, they go into hiding and resist public appearances. They even shy away from their partner. Suddenly, the confident girl who is usually assured with her looks, is desperately longing for a compliment to boost her ego that’s taken an unexpected hit.

This is the effect of hormonal fluctuations that affect women at varying degrees. If these wild swings of confidence are characteristic of you, it could be worth your while to chart your moods.

It could be as simple as logging your feelings during your period on a phone app each day.

  • “I feel beautiful.”
  • “I feel ugly.”
  • “I don’t want to be seen in public.”
  • “I could marry Prince Henry.”

Once you’re more self-aware, you can prepare for those low moments where it’s best not to make any major relationship decisions or even go out shopping for clothes.

4. Beauty should not be contingent on others’ actions toward you

One of the things we noticed when researching this topic is that many women are searching for how to feel beautiful after being betrayed.

Photo by Ron Lach

Let’s face it, for anyone who’s been cheated on, you understand what it means to take a hit in the area of self-confidence and body image. It doesn’t matter what kind of beauty profile fits you that we described in our other article on beauty–if your boyfriend, husband, or partner betrays your trust, it might take a while to feel beautiful again.

As humans, our default tendency is to base our inward sense of self on how others treat us. Unfortunately, this is the quickest way to lose confidence. Here’s why. Everyone else is dealing with their own self-image issues. Their treatment of you is often a reflection of how they feel inside, not how they feel about you. Insults and betrayals are often egregious pleas for affirmation due to the other person’s own need for approval.

Conclusion

So, in summary, we all process our sense of beauty uniquely. But there are some common threads that show up habitually for all of us. We hope these beauty insights will give you a starting point for learning how to feel beautiful again. It’s possible for you to improve your self-image. You can learn to feel beautiful again. Despite your current view of self, a sense of beauty can only be sustained by an inside-out approach.

An external measure of beauty creates a fragile sense of self-worth.

No matter what, you are beautiful, loved and accepted.

Read more about self-love


LoveLifeLinks.com knows you’ll find your sense of beauty again!

Remember, you can feel love anywhere. Anytime. All the time.

3 thoughts on “Want to feel more beautiful? | Remember these 4 things!”
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