Miserable and tired of fighting it?
Believe it or not, misery is a catalyst.
Many of us have lived years with misery as our companion. We go to bed miserable and wake up miserable.
We’re unhappy in college, we regret the career we’ve chosen, then we get married and decide we’re miserable with our husband or wife, and on, and on.
We always have a good reason for our misery.
We want to stop being miserable but don’t know how.
So instead, we decide to just survive our miserable life. Or, we try to fix the “miserable” person who we blame for our misery.
Ultimately, our goal at LoveLifeLinks.com is to help you experience greater love in life.
Many times, instead of using our misery as a tool to find love–we view misery as an obstacle to love.
But, we want to suggest that misery is a powerful tool. Being miserable gives us perspective, increases our stamina, pushes us to great success and ultimately fosters a rich life of love.
So, let’s explore 5 areas where Google Research trends indicate our audience is miserable.
We’ll provide perspective on how to leverage your misery, rather than resist it.
5 Reasons You’re Miserable and What To Do About It:
- You’re miserable in college
- Your career is miserable
- Marriage is miserable
- Pregnancy is misery
- Life is miserable altogether
1. You’re miserable in college
It seems that many of you start your habit of misery in university.
What is it about college that causes misery?
Why college makes us miserable
You’re unsure of what you want to do in life
Oh, how I wish I’d put less pressure on myself back then to be my own fortune teller.
Why do we look so far into the future? Why do we obsess over signing up for the perfect area of study–fit for our personality, future demand, earning potential, etc.?
All of this pressure creates the perfect conditions for misery. Let go of your need to get everything just right. It’s impossible to know your future. Let love be the driving force of all your decisions.
Look deep within. In what area of study does love feel most alive?
College is a new and unfamiliar place
Any new challenge can be daunting. Being taken away from years of regimen and predictable studies in public school is jarring.
The high school system often gives us little choice of where to focus our studies. Now that you have so many options, it’s easier to roll up into a ball of misery and cry about the overwhelming possibilities.
Again, open your eyes to the beauty of new surroundings. Focus on the unknown as a unique opportunity to shape a life you’ll love.
Your social life is taking on a new form
Why does life force us to give up our past in hopes for a better future?
Most of the time, going to university puts distance between high school friends. This necessitates making new friends. Your new social circle behaves differently and spends their time on unfamiliar activities in foreign places.
A break away from our old way of being can be miserable at first.
But, instead of focusing on the life you’re leaving behind, embrace your opportunity to forge new friendships that can fill your life with greater love.
Open your heart to meeting a kindred spirit with whom you’ll love studying and living alongside.
Now, you carry more financial responsibility
Granted, this isn’t the case for everyone–but for most, college carries greater financial responsibility.
Now, your parents let you fend for yourself. Steering your own ship comes at a cost.
Instead of seeing this new responsibility as a stressful source of misery, look at it as your opportunity to earn and budget for present and future experiences you’ll love.
Now let’s look at another common reason for misery.
2. You’re miserable in your career
O.k., so you made it through university. You applied for thousands of jobs and finally landed what you once believed to be your dream career.
Now what?
Unfortunately, your career is not what you thought. Days on end of time in the cubicle is not what you imagined.
I thought my great job would feel great!
Your hands are tied, because you’ve taken on a ton of debt. You don’t know how to break away from the rat race. You don’t see a way out.
This level of misery can ultimately point you in the right direction. The self-loathing that comes from dealing with career disappointment can serve as your beacon of hope. Where there’s misery, there’s also an opportunity for a better tomorrow. If you hate your career and want to run away from your job, you’re on the verge of rebirth.
Recognize misery as a whisper that it’s time to be brave. You will not regret leaving a miserable situation. Trust your instincts.
The more you follow your gut, the greater your opportunity to find a career you’ll love or the more reinvigorated you’ll feel for workforce re-entry.
3. Marriage is miserable
We’ve written an article about being tired of marriage. Interestingly, it’s one of our highest viewed articles on lovelifelinks.com.
But people aren’t just tired of their husband or wife. Some claim all-out misery in their long-term relationships.
There are many explanations for being miserable in marriage. Adultery, boredom, physical & verbal abuse, financial incompatibility, lack of intimacy, and resentment are only a few of the reasons misery festers in marriage.
Often, it’s not the “general discontent” that causes us to finally address our relationship issues. It’s more likely that we reach a point of misery before we’re motivated to do something about our miserable marriage. We hate the thought of living a lifetime of misery with a partner we’ve grown to loathe rather than love.
Therefore, our misery drives us to honesty, shipwreck, or desperate attempts at a real connection.
So, a miserable marriage isn’t to be feared. Misery in marriage might just serve as the catalyst for uncovering a polished love that you intuitively believe exists.
Your misery is the pinch that reminds you there’s a life of love yet to be lived.
4. Pregnancy is misery
O.k., so, not everyone can relate. But, I can. Having birthed 5 children, I understand the misery inherent to motherhood. Carrying a child for 9 months is miserable in so many ways.
Here is an article with additional perspective about childbirth.
But, you can be assured that your miserable pregnancy is life itself. Assuming an average life expectancy of 80 years, if we stopped giving birth now–our earth would only remain populated for 80-ish more years.
Long story short, if we’re not miserable, we’re not alive.
As a mother, your misery is the portal to life. Every pain, discomfort, and sacrifice you experience as a mother makes the world go ’round.
Embrace your miserable pregnancy as an act of bravery. Don’t wait on someone else to give you kudos for carrying a child 9 months.
Consider your power as a mother to bring life into this world. Marvel at your strength and lean into your misery.
The life that you bring into this world is the birth of new love, a growing possibility to experience the depth and breadth of loving.
5. My life is miserable
Yes. College, career, marriage, and pregnancy are top sources of misery. But some of us throw up our hands and admit that our entire life is nothing but miserable. Your misery makes you angry.
Our vision has become so clouded by difficult times and disappointing failure that we believe we’re destined to a lifetime of misery and sadness.
We encourage you to break your misery down into smaller pieces.
Often, our misery is smaller than it seems.
One intentional step to eliminate a miserable circumstance can open up our life to an exciting array of possibilities. More often than not, a miserable life indicates a failure on our part to face our misery head-on.
Stop trying to escape misery. Accept misery as an integral part of our life experience. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling miserable. Stop chalking up your whole life to a mistake. A seemingly miserable life can turn into a beautiful testament of the hardships you’ve overcome.
Your resilience can be the story that inspires someone else to survive, then thrive.
Summary
As we mentioned in the introduction, being miserable gives us perspective, increases our stamina, pushes us to great success and ultimately fosters a rich life of love.
At my lowest point in life–misery was at its climax.
Finally, I decided to admit that my life was miserable. I stopped hoping for pie in the sky. Instead, I took the time to write a detailed confession of why I was miserable.
Holding the vague hope of a better tomorrow had not been enough to transform my life.
First, I had to admit that things weren’t right. I had to take responsibility for my miserable feelings about my miserable situation.
Only then, could I move away from my misery to embrace a full life of love.
This site is my heartfelt wish that your misery will morph into love. Once you experience true love, you’ll never see misery the same again.
**Sometimes mental illness causes and/or exacerbates misery. It’s o.k. and advisable to seek help.
LoveLifeLinks.com believes your misery is the portal to true love.
Remember, you can feel love anywhere. Anytime. All the time.
