I am so f****** tired of being married!

Have you forgotten why you got married in the first place?

I’ve been there too! And some days, I’m STILL there!

After a little Google Keyword Research,

Here is what I discovered about couples just like you and me!

5 top reasons we’re tired of being married:

• We are lonely in our marriage
• We’re tired of fighting with our spouse
• Our relationship has turned into a sexless marriage
• It’s exhausting to fight for the survival of your marriage
• You’re tired of the married life

Please take this from me.

I’ve been there and done that!

Maybe you’ve been married 20 years. Maybe it’s only been two.

I’ve been married 15 years and have personally cycled through paralyzing exhaustion more times than I wished.

Marriage starts out as a fairy tale.

We thought marriage would be a safe place with our best friend ever.

Mutual, long-lasting emotional connection, sexual satisfaction, and peaceful communication.

Yet, as it turns out, marriage can become the breeding ground of everything BUT “love.”

Overnight, marital bitterness takes root

We don’t really have to try hard for bitterness to take root in our marriage.

In fact, bitterness happens just as easily as weeds choke out the plants in our garden.

We don’t plant the weeds of discontent.

They just magically grow.

What I’ve observed is that marriage often turns out to either be a love/hate relationship or an all-out HATE relationship.

In rare instances we find a match made in heaven.

But, not many of us get the chance at a soulmate relationship.

Once things get bad enough in our marriage, we start coming up with our own “natural remedies” to fix our loneliness, fights, dissatisfaction with sex life, and mere exhaustion trying to hold it all together.

Let’s take a moment to expand on the common reasons of marital fatigue for those of you who are tired of being married.

I’m so tired of being lonely in marriage!

Loneliness in marriage is one of the most significant paradoxes of married life.

Many, if not all of us, don’t want to feel alone anymore. So, we get married. Yet marriage turns out to be one of the most isolating experiences in life.

So how did we get here, to this place of lonesome demise?

Why are we googling “tired of being lonely in my marriage” in the wee hours of the morning when our spouse is contentedly snoring beside us?

Remember this! Marital loneliness is a self-defeating cycle.

Feeling alone causes loneliness. Loneliness results in boredom and depression. Boredom and depression lead to feeling more alone.

There is something curious about the cycle of loneliness in marriage.

The lonelier we feel, the less likely we are to reach out to our spouse.

Vulnerability and loneliness are like oil and water. Why should we be vulnerable with someone who seems to repel the essence of our being?

Here are a few reasons for loneliness in marriage:

• Our spouse no longer shows interest in our day-to-day existence
• Niceties become burdensome routines
• We avoid hard topics like the plague
• No matter what we do, we can’t get our spouse’s attention
• We give up on connecting in a meaningful way with our spouse
• We’re addicted to “loneliness crack” and refuse to go to rehab
• There are many more reasons…

So, as you see, marriage is not for the faint of heart. Marriage is not a quick fix for loneliness. It’s the marathon we never knew we were signing up for. Marriage is the movie ticket we regret.

It may be helpful to remember that watching a great movie alone could be a lot worse than watching a bad movie with our spouse.

Let’s take a look at the next top reason you’re likely tired of being married.

I’m so sick and tired of Fighting with my spouse!

As they say in life, “there are never any happy mediums.” You might fight with your spouse 24/7. Conversely, some of us refuse to fight with our spouse at all.

Then, there are others who fall somewhere in-between.

You pick a fight, but never finish the fight. Instead, you run with your tail tucked between your legs.

We don’t really mean to pick the fight. It only appears this way because we don’t know how to get to the heart of the matter. We don’t say what we really meant to say.

I think we fight with our spouse because we don’t intentionally create a safe space to communicate our concerns in marriage. We’re lucky if we get 10 minutes alone with our spouse, considering busy work schedules, family obligations, and the outright intention to ignore our problems.

If you are tired of fighting with your husband or wife, stop fighting. Even if you’re not a fighter, you can be assured you beat your spouse and yourself up daily with the internal dialogue that festers just beneath the surface.

So how can you stop fighting? In theory, it’s pretty easy. In practice, it’s like pulling teeth with no Lidocaine.

Fighting is easy

The fighting will never stop if you can’t say what’s in your heart and mind in complete transparency with no ill intentions to hurt your spouse.

If you are in the middle of a heated argument, you cannot speak to your soul struggle. You’ll only scuff your knee, give your partner a “black eye,” and leave feeling defeated until the next argument breaks out.

It is scary to schedule intentional time with your spouse to talk to them about your feelings, because it puts you in a vulnerable spot.

So, ultimately, fighting with our spouse is a way to avoid rejection. Soul rejection is a result of vulnerability. It’s much easier to spar superficially.

If you want to stop fighting, start being genuinely vulnerable at the cost of your pride.

Now, let’s look at the 3rd reason others might get tired of their marriage.

I never thought I’d be in a sexless marriage!

I’m not going to go into great detail here, because we’ve covered the topic of a sexless marriage in this article.

But the following could have caused your lack of sex:

• Major life changes
• Physical problems
• Emotional disconnect
• Medication
• Boredom

Remember, a sexless marriage doesn’t just mean a marriage without sex. You’re likely missing emotional connection too!

But what if you don’t even care about the sex anymore? What if you’re just ready to let it all go?

You’ve fought for the marriage and now you’re just ready to call it quits

Sometimes, our marriage has become a constant struggle to tread water. Trying to stay afloat in a vast ocean of problems, we feel one big wave away from drowning.

At times, it may appear we are the only one who is holding onto the marriage. In reality, it’s possible your spouse has implemented a “quick fix” like adultery, pornography, workaholism, or emotional “affairs.”

Honestly, I believe it’s very hard to determine which comes first–the indifference or the vice.

Never-the-less, you’re too distracted or selfish to realize there’s a problem. Or you’ve been screaming mayday-mayday, and your partner just ignores you. Either way, the outcome is the same.

You’re tired of fighting for the marriage or you’re tired of the spouse who claims they are fighting for the marriage.

Time apart can be scary

It’s likely that some time apart might remind you why you got together in the first place.

Even though we’ve grown to “hate” our spouse so much, separation is hard. A separation seems more painful than living a lifetime in misery. We’re too inextricably connected.

This is co-dependency.

Surrender to dissatisfaction, if you’re tired of fighting FOR your marriage. Or take the time to reflect on how you can gain common ground again.

Step away from the marital dysfunction for an opportunity to let your love be born again.

Lastly, one of the top reasons for marital exhaustion is:

You’re simply just tired of the married life

Let’s face it, living with anyone for a lifetime is no walk in the park. You’ve begun to wonder if the “institution of marriage” is even worth it at all.

We say to ourselves,

Why did I get married to begin with?

Is marriage even necessary?

Maybe I’d be better off alone.

I’ll just stay married to facilitate co-parenting.

Yes, and there’s much more we mull over in our heads as the drain of marriage makes us irreparably lethargic.

We’re surprised to “be done with married life.”

As a husband or wife, we’re tired of our assumed “duties.”

It might seem like you’re the only one pulling your weight.

Perhaps you’re to the point of watching romcoms or sports alone. You’re tired of pondering the health of your marriage!

Is giving up the next best option?

You may have traded the possibility of marital happiness with finding your own hobby.

I get it. Marriage is hard. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever met the truly happy couple we all fantasize about in our minds.

We all deal with disappointment in different ways. Some divorce and decided to cycle through hardship with a new person again and again.

Others stay together and never address their marital issues. Very few reach the pinnacle of hard-earned love that’s only possible by having scaled the mountain of misunderstandings, selfish mistakes, and natural disasters.

How will you deal with being tired of marriage?

What’s your approach?

Share your own marriage experiences with us below.

We don’t claim to know every nook and cranny of marriage, but hopefully some of these insights will inspire you to re-energize your marital journey.

LoveLifeLinks.com believes if you’re tired of being married, you can re-energize your marriage by exercising greater vulnerability to face your marriage issues head-on.

Remember, you can feel love. Anywhere. Anytime. All the time.