Feeling unloved and alone? 5 hopeful insights to curb your loneliness! ❤️

Feeling unloved is a universal problem

First, feeling unloved is a universal problem.

“I feel unloved,” you say.

There is not one single person on the planet who hasn’t felt unloved at some point in their life. In fact, the reason we’re writing this article is due to a high volume of online searches that deal with this very issue. Feeling unloved goes hand-in-hand with loneliness. Many times, we don’t believe anyone else in the world feels as unloved as we do. Comparing ourselves to others makes us feel even more unloved.

Read a poem about loneliness

Feeling unloved is a viscous cycle. Most of the time, no one wants to be transparent about their feelings. We keep it all inside because it’s embarrassing to let other people know how bad we feel. Some people mask their feelings of loneliness by putting on a strong exterior.

Or others might put themselves at center stage as the life of the party. But deep inside, they feel empty and alone–simply unlovable. In fact, you would be shocked to discover the thoughts and true feelings of people who seem to be loved by many. Don’t be discouraged. You are not alone. We are here to walk you through some insights about love and loneliness. Hopefully this will help you feel less alone as you move forward toward love.

Many relationships result in feeling unloved and alone

Second, we noticed a common thread when researching the online search habits of those who feel unloved. The condition of our relationships is often at the root of feeling unloved. This is ironic because relationships are supposed to be a haven of love.

None-the-less, There are several different types of relationships where we end up saying,

“I feel unloved.”

Let’s take a look at those relationships.

Hopefully some of these insights will guide you through navigating your lonely relationship.

I’m feeling unloved in my marriage

The first type of relationship that makes us the loneliest, is our romantic relationship with a longtime partner. After a while, our spouse can become our enemy. This may happen because we have many hurts that go unaddressed. Perhaps it was easier for us to bury our pain rather than face it head-on with clear yet painful communication. We build these barriers over time and interpret the walls as our partner not loving us.

“If he loved me, he would tell me how beautiful I am.”

“If she really loved me, she would stop doing the things that annoy me.”

These types of problems are to be expected in long-term relationships. It takes a lot of work to keep the love alive in a relationship when we’ve had lots of time to collect grudges and count wrongs. You may not want to tell your wife that she’s pretty because you’re angry with her. Maybe you refuse to give your husband a hug or show affection, because he habitually fails to listen to you. It could be that your partner doesn’t even know you feel unloved.

Then there are those deep-cutting hurts like adultery. Often we deduce that our partner cheated on us because we are unlovable.

“If they loved me, why would they betray me?” you think.

These are several reasons you might feel unloved in your marriage relationship, but this doesn’t mean you are unloved.

My dating partner doesn’t love me anymore

The next type of relationship where it’s common to feel unloved, is the more casual dating relationship. Sometimes constantly feeling unloved in dating relationships means we habitually date the wrong people. Maybe your interests, love language, and desires for the future are too far apart from your dating partner.

If this is the case, there’s a good chance you feel unloved. However, sometimes you find a great match and are still puzzled when you wake up one day and question whether your boyfriend or girlfriend loves you anymore.

Feeling unloved can be a slow progression

The red flags in our dating relationship can sneak up on us. We gradually let our guard down. Feeling unloved doesn’t necessarily happen overnight. It could be a result of letting things slide one offense at a time. Maybe your boyfriend flirts with the waitress and you don’t communicate that it made you feel a bit insecure. It could be that your dating partner found out you danced a little too closely with someone on girls’ night out.

All of this eventually leads to a feeling of being unloved. Our mind can blow things out of proportion. In the end, we may jump to the conclusion that we must be the problem.

“There must be something wrong with me!”

We tell ourselves that maybe our BF really thinks we’re not attractive anymore, because he wouldn’t stop looking at that girl. Or after a while you believe your GF thinks you’re outright ugly, because you know you’ve let your physical appearance slide. As you can see, our feeling of love can go sideways for many reasons in a dating relationship.

I feel unloved by my family

The third relationship where it’s common to feel unloved is in the parent/child relationship. This isn’t isolated to the love a child feels from their parent. Even parents can feel that their children do not love them. It’s not uncommon for a child to feel unloved when their parents always challenge them to do better. Maybe you brought home an A- on your report card and your mom or dad demands to know why it wasn’t an A+.

Parents can push their children because they really want them to be the best they can be. They believe outstanding academic performance will give you more opportunities than they had. But unfortunately, this type of challenge and discipline can make you feel like you’re not enough–that you’re unloved.

Conversely, one parent or both parents might believe one of their children doesn’t love them. The child starts acting out, calling them names, destroying property or generally failing to follow instructions.

Parents often forget what it was like to be a kid. So instead of trying to gain insight into their child’s behavior or phase of childhood, they react impatiently and assume their child hates them. This creates a mutual feeling that love is absent in the parent/child relationship. Of course, there are times where children are in outright abusive situations. They are constantly belittled, unreasonably sheltered from others, and even physically abused.

These children may grow up with a deep-rooted feeling of being unloved, unless they work really hard to rise above their difficult past and seek healing.

Everyone makes me feel unloved

In summary, there are specific relationships in which we can feel unloved. However, some of us can’t really tie our feeling of being unloved to one specific relationship. We simply have a general feeling of being unloved by everyone around us. It could be our partner, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, friends, grandparents, or church members. No matter where we look, even in the mirror, we never see love. This leads us to our next point about feeling unloved.

Lack of self-love leads to feeling unloved

We won’t spend much time on this insight, because we’ve written an article about self-love here. However, although it’s cliché, it’s true: We can’t love others until we love ourselves. Sometimes this sounds like a selfish conclusion.

We are taught to put others first, ahead of our own safety and well-being. But putting others first doesn’t always mean we love them. It might mean we show others love simply because we fear being alone or rejected. Eventually this type of “self-sacrificial” love will result in feeling unloved.

How is it that we can “love” others so much while constantly beating ourselves up for our shortcomings? Many of us would never treat other people how we treat ourselves. Unfortunately “loving” others excessively doesn’t lead to feeling loved by them. Instead, we will eventually feel unloved by others because they don’t reciprocate our sacrifice. Bottom line is, if we are unable to love ourselves, we are less likely to feel loved by others.

Toxic or abusive relationships can leave us feeling unloved

The fourth insight we’d like to highlight goes without saying.

Toxic or abusive relationships will beat us up emotionally and sometimes physically. When we look in the mirror all we’ll see are the bruises someone else inflicted on us. This pain can make us question our sanity. We’ll also feel inferior because we don’t know how to break away from being the victim. Anyone who is intentionally treated with hate over and over again, will not escape unscathed.

If you find yourself in this type of situation, you must first break away. Find help to separate yourself from this toxicity or abuse. This may require you to be honest with someone trusted at the cost of your pride.

No one wants to admit they don’t know how they got into a bad situation. You may be slow to confess that you’re in way over your head. Yet, if you want to feel loved, within and by others, please seek help as the starting point for building a future of love.

There is hope for the unloved

It’s true, there are many reasons we may feel unloved and alone. But it’s also true that there’s hope for the unloved. It’s completely within your control to look deep within and understand how you got to the point of feeling unlovable. You can take the steps to communicate with others about ways to work on your relationship with them.

Be honest about the ways you’ve personally contributed to your lack of confidence and feelings of worthlessness.

Seek out the family and friends who would probably be shocked to know you feel unloved. Show vulnerability and tell them how you’re feeling. The hope is that they’ll want to work on improving the aspects of your relationship that make you feel unwanted, unloved, and alone.

Lastly, you can seek the help of an unbiased third party who is willing to guide you through self-reflection. Sometimes we can’t see our own dysfunction because we’re so accustomed to living with it. One final note on hope and love. Often times we’re told that our religion should make us feel loved. Sometimes others shame us for feeling unloved because “God is love.” They say if we were closer to God, we’d feel more loved.

Yes, there is a transcendent love available to everyone. But, don’t be discouraged if you haven’t been able to tune into that love yet. Take baby steps by looking inward with increasing honesty. Approach others with greater transparency.

Read more about finding love

Conclusion

In conclusion, it doesn’t matter whether your relationship leaves you feeling unloved or whether you have deep-seated insecurities within. You have the potential to improve your life. You have the power to build the life of love you always wanted.

Don’t lose heart. You won’t always be the lonely of heart!

LoveLifeLinks.com believes you can find love no matter how unloved and alone you feel.

Remember, you can feel love anywhere. Anytime. All the time.