Tired of One Sided Love? Learn to Receive the Love you Give! ❤️

Are you tired of one sided love? What exactly does one sided love mean anyway?

One sided love means giving a lot more than you receive.

People often quote the scripture:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

1 Corinthians 13 1

Some of us try really hard to be patient, kind, humble, polite, and truthful.

But what happens when you love relentlessly and consistently, only to receive so little, maybe even nothing in return?

It can be very painful and numbing when you hit your head against a brick wall every time someone who claims to love you, rejects you. It can baffle your mind when a “lover” is habitually impatient, mean, jealous, proud, rude, self-centered, angry, spiteful, and dishonest.

It will most likely become more and more difficult to believe that love is at the center of your relationship, when there is no evidence of it.

If you’re truly tired of one-sided love, consider whether your relationship was born of love in the first place.

The verse above isn’t necessarily a command for how we should love someone else. Maybe we can read it as:

If it’s love, it’s patient. If it’s love, it’s kind. If it’s love, it does not envy.

And on and on…

So how can we possibly learn to receive the love we give? Here are a few points of reflection for those of you who feel like your relationships are characteristically based on “one-sided love.”

Points of reflection for those in one sided love relationships

Do I love my partner or am I just going through the motions of love?

Often times, we’re taught that no matter how difficult things get, we should be loving toward our partner. But, how can we decide when this crosses the line into an abusive relationship that crushes our soul every chance it gets? Perhaps you once loved your partner, but now you don’t. Maybe by no fault of your own, or simply because time and circumstances beyond your control have put a wedge between you both. You’re still loving to them though. Are your loving actions enough to sustain you when your spouse isn’t willing to try too? Going through the actions can salvage some relationships until real healing takes place. But going through the actions with no reciprocity will not last and may even devolve into creating and feeding a narcissistic monster who will take every opportunity to cut you down.

Is your relationship just going through a rough patch?

Sometimes, we can experience life events that shut us down hard. We feel fatigued and emotionally drained. Everyone needs us–our aging parents, our children, our careers. We’ve stopped loving our partner because we have nothing left to give. Maybe you’ve experienced this before, or your spouse has zoned out on you to the point that your relationship gradually begins to feel one-sided. There is hope. If you are the one with nothing left to give, seek help. If your spouse is the one running short on motivation to treat you lovingly–make sure they don’t get into the habit of it and urge your partner to seek help.

Does your husband or wife accuse you of not loving them, even though your actions are loving?

If your spouse is accusing you of not loving them, even when you believe you’re treating them lovingly–they may be right. If we are loving from a place of obligation, not an outpouring of the love we feel toward someone else–our efforts may go unnoticed or bitterly ignored. Yes, there is merit in loving even when times get tough. But, we must be honest with ourselves and take responsibility for our one-sided love relationship if our loving actions are solely based on making it through another day with this “stranger” we married. Take a moment to remember what it was like to love when love was mutual. Reflect on the time when your loving actions were a natural outpouring rather than a painful labor of love.

Do you want to experience mutual love with someone or are you stuck on being a martyr for the sake of religion?

Commitment should be at the center of every relationship. Loving when times get tough is essential for a long-term partnership. But are you starting to hate God because God hates divorce? Sure, God hates divorce. However, I think most everyone hates the idea of their relationship breaking up irreparably. To choose being a martyr is often a disguise for our pride that wonders what others will say if our relationship fails. Acting like a saint often turns into a fulltime job of lying to ourselves and others. Which is the greater sin?

Are you ready to accept responsibility for one sided love?

All-in-all, only we can take responsibility for our one-sided love relationship. Not even our partner can fix our feelings on the matter. “Where there is no hope, people perish.” If you’ve lost hope in your relationship, the next stop is the doorstep of death. Yes, dramatic. Yes, true. Our souls die a little each day the more we refuse to take responsibility for our love life. If you obsess over your one-sided relationship non-stop, day in and day out–there’s a good chance your gut feeling is right. Do something about it. Seek help. Seek affirmation. Seek sanity. Living a life without mutual love is no life at all.

One Sided Love Conclusion

Yes, it seems so easy on paper. But we know that giving and receiving love is no simple matter. We’re only here to share perspectives, not to write prescriptions. Hopefully, this article has given you enough food for thought to spur you to action.

LoveLifeLinks.com believes you will experience mutual love again.

Remember, you can feel love anytime. Anywhere. All the time.