Strong Independent Woman? Loving the Alpha Female ❤️

Alpha Female Envy

I always looked up to my aunt but didn’t know why.  Looking back, I enjoyed her strength, her ability to put people in their place, the way she articulated injustice and always sought retribution. I may have even thought that one day I wanted to be like her.  A strong independent woman, sufficient without a man–an Alpha Female.

Once, my father called me a “little version of her.”  Even though I looked up to her, my suspicion was that his comment wasn’t necessarily a compliment at the time. 

It was true, my aunt had rough edges, sometimes cursed like a sailor and over-corrected in her quest for justice.  The total opposite of what I’m sure my father wanted me to become as his “baby girl” of the family.

But what I recently learned is that there was a reason for my aunt’s tough exterior. 

Every woman has a story

Her character, her personality–I would have never guessed resulted from standing up to domestic abuse.  I cannot articulate the entirety of what happened, but it involved a man holding a loaded gun in her face and threatening her life.

I only met my aunt when she’d already moved on from that relationship and lived on her own.  She was a happy, strong, independent woman, and finally free…free from something unspoken.

But, not everyone knew her story. In fact, there were many around her who thought she was too brash. They would talk behind her back and refer to her strength as “too much.”

This got me to thinking about how I perceive others who get labeled as an “Alpha Female.”

Do others positively perceive me as a strong, independent woman?

Or have I over-corrected my character because of circumstances from a past of which others are unaware?

Do you judge the strong, independent woman?

Both men and women are prone to judge Alpha Females harshly. When in the case of a man who shows strength, we would not judge.

Culturally, we’re often more accustomed to women who are quiet, submissive and accommodating.

And we’ve all been exposed to the notion that the Alpha Female is a “bitch on wheels.”

It’s true that a woman may have developed her strength because of an unspeakable hardship. But some women are born natural leaders who intuitively know how to use their strength.

Yes, there are some women who go to the extreme of not trusting others, jumping to conclusions about intent, and throwing others under the bus to ensure they’re heard above anyone else–including other women.

This is why we want to talk about “loving the rogue alpha female.”

Strong Independent Woman – Loving the rogue Alpha Female

Alpha Females show up at work and in our romantic relationships.

Sometimes they have rough edges that sand away at our resolve to be patient with them.

But other times, we idolize the strong independent woman – alpha female because they have super powers like breaking glass ceilings and mercilessly holding others accountable.

Here are a few insights about loving the alpha female, either when you’re fed up with her rough edges or seething with jealousy over her pronounced strength:

• Don’t idolize someone else’s character. An example might be idolizing a boss who is super savvy at manipulating others for their own gain.  Or idolizing a co-worker who seems to climb the ladder faster because they mow everyone down in the process.  Or idolizing a people-pleaser who seems to get along with every co-worker despite their obvious shortcomings.  This also applies to the Alpha Female. Don’t envy her. Be you.  Pursue an improved version of you.  Be curious about what lies behind the exterior of someone else’s perceived success.
• Don’t judge someone else’s rough edges. Rough edges aren’t necessarily barbaric.  Rough edges can also be like chalk on the chalkboard—like passive aggressive co-workers who can’t seem to take personal responsibility for their individual success or failure.  Your co-worker might currently be in a domestic abuse situation and their only safe space is at work.  Your manager might be treading thin ice financially even though everyone believes they should be better off financially because they’re in a higher-paid role. In the case of an Alpha Female, don’t judge her even if she seems to have taken her “role” a little too far.
• Consider your own character. What current or past circumstances make you who you are today?  What makes you feel strong but comes across to others as off-putting and borderline controlling?  How can you gauge the reactions of others to slough off the rough edges of those excruciating life experiences you’ve survived? Whether a natural Alpha Female or not–we all have the opportunity to improve our character and view ourselves as others may view us.

Conclusion

In Conclusion, many Alpha Females lead other women where they’ve always wanted to go. Some Alpha Females intimidate men who aren’t accustomed to the strong, independent woman. Other Alpha Females embody cutthroat actions and lead with cold calculation.

Consider the context within which you work or live with the Alpha Female. Embrace her with love and understanding.

Don’t jump to conclusions. Show her grace. Lastly, revel in her strength.

LoveLifeLinks.com believes you have the Alpha power within to live a powerful life of love.

Remember, you can feel love anywhere. Anytime. All the time.