Friends to Lovers? | 5 Top Reasons Romantic Friendships Thrive

Sep 22, 2021 #friend to lover, #friends, #friends to lovers, #lover, #lovers, #romance, #romantic friendships

You are excited but nervous about moving from friends to lovers.

In fact, you’re outright fearful because everyone knows,

“Romantic friendships don’t last.”

Does this sound like you?

I did a little Google research and found that people everywhere are skeptical about transforming from friends to lovers.

But based on personal experience, here’s what I’ve found:

5 Top Reasons Friends to Lovers Thrive:

Friends are less likely to overlook important details
Friends know our secrets
Friendships are based on mutual interests
Friends laugh freely together
Romantic friendships are perfect for longevity

Please take this from me. Falling unexpectedly in love is enchanting. But, maybe there’s a happy alternative?

You’re likely reading this article because you’re curious about whether you should initiate a romance with your friend.

Or you wonder whether your new romantic relationship with a friend can last.

Oddly, most people are comfortable with the idea of strangers falling in love. But when it comes to falling in love with a friend, we run away.

Yes, “friends to lovers” works in a good romance movie, but what about in real life?

Someone has to make the first move

One thing is for sure, whether it’s two strangers meeting on the street or two friends on the verge of a romance–someone has to make the first move. Making the first move requires vulnerability.

If you’re sensing romantic vibes when you’re around your best friend, maybe they’re feeling it too.

But many of us aren’t ready to take the risk of losing friendship based on a whim.

However, what would happen if more people began to see the value of friendship first, lovers second?

Whether it’s Jess and Nick from New Girl or Toni Wolff and Carl Jung as colleagues and friends — Friends to Lovers can run the gamut from playful and fun to intense and gratifying.

Let’s take a moment to expand on why romantic friendships can work.

Lovers overlook important details

At first glance, it may seem convenient when our lover overlooks important details of our life.

However, falling head over heels for someone can lead to disaster in the end.

More often than not, it’s true that love is blind.

Romance makes us ignore when our lover doesn’t align to life goals, morals or our everyday style of living.

Conversely, our friends typically know us pretty well. Most friendships are based on full(er) disclosure. We’re less likely to hide our dreams from a friend. We don’t need to preserve the high that lovers give us.

This leads us to our next point.

Friends know our secrets

Second, not only do friends know the day-to-day details of our life, but they also know our deepest, darkest secrets.

One of the surefire ways to jeopardize our relationship with a lover, is to withhold secrets that will make them look at us less favorably. Yet, we’re too tempted to hide our past because we don’t want to put out the fire of romance.

Usually, these secrets come out too late–when our relationship is well on its way and our lover already believes we’re next to perfect.

However, it’s more common that we disclose some of our most painful memories with a close friend.

This level of comfort leads to a feeling of acceptance. Our friend is more likely to remain our friend even when we are fully transparent with them.

Friendships are based on mutual interests

The third reason friends to lovers are likely to thrive, is that friendships are typically based on mutual interests.

Whether it’s listening to the same types of music or liking the same sport–friends often start out having something in common.

In the case of Toni Wolff and Carl Jung we mentioned above, they shared an interest in the field of psychology. Their professional friendship turned into a lifetime as lovers because they were both fastidiously intrigued by the innerworkings of the mind.

When people fall in love before becoming friends, common interests are often an afterthought.

Then, it’s too painful to separate even though your relationship is less than practical for the long-term.

Friends laugh freely together

Let’s face it. We’re more likely to let our hair down with a friend, than with a romantic interest. It’s much easier to laugh out loud at the county fair, hotdog in hand, rather than over a romantic candlelit dinner.

Yes, even the every day reality of, you guessed it, a rumbling stomach can be laughed about among friends. But, it can take a really long time to laugh at such things with a lover.

It can even be intimidating to watch a funny movie with a lover. We’re unsure of where they stand politically. We’re not certain their sense of humor is as dark as ours.

Friends have already learned to laugh together. Not only is laughter the best medicine, but it’s also a great way to cultivate a long-lasting love.

Romantic friendships are perfect for longevity

Lastly, when friendships take the turn of romance, there’s a good chance it’s already weathered many storms.

Getting through tough spots with friends by our side makes them an integral part of our life.

In a friendship, our aim is to spend time together with no pressure to keep up pretenses. This frees us up to live in the now.

With lovers, it’s more likely that we constantly look to the future. We try to anticipate what comes next in our relationship rather than enjoying what we already have.

So, with all the reasons friends can thrive as lovers, why do we still hesitate to move from friends to lovers?