Trust Issues Meaning
So what does it mean to have trust issues? If you have a constant knot in your stomach because you don’t believe what someone says, you may have trust issues.
In marriage, when your spouse tells you they’re going somewhere and you experience extreme anxiety because you believe they’re being less than honest, you may have trust issues.
If you’re angling for a promotion from your boss, and you suspect they’re not advocating on your behalf, you may have trust issues.
When your boyfriend tells you he loves you, but you’re sure it’s only a matter of time before you find out he’s actually a lying snake, you may have trust issues.
Symptoms of trust paralysis
Trust issues will cause physical and emotional symptoms of an uneasy stomach, a fluctuation of chemicals in your body, an inability to be at ease when you’re alone, and diminished decision making capabilities.
Having trust issues isn’t unique to you.
There isn’t one person in this world who doesn’t have trust issues. You are not alone.
But hyper-focusing on the fact that people can’t be trusted, needlessly paralyzes you and keeps you from enjoying life to the fullest.
How trust issues manifest
As mentioned in the introduction, trust issues can manifest in any kind of relationship.
Mistrust shows up in many ways.
Everyone expresses their trust issues in different ways. Some mask their inability to trust by putting on a strong face and pretending they are completely independent and self-sufficient.
They react externally with attempts to control their environment.
These are the people who passive aggressively control their partner with mind games. A narcissist faking happiness.
Others are verbally open about their obsession with trust and can’t help but outwardly express things like,
“I have trust issues with my boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/coworker.”
Their bark is much bigger than their bite. They carry the pain of their trust issues on the inside and always appear to be a victim.
Truth is, we’re all a victim to trust issues, no matter how we act out our dysfunction.
How to eliminate trust issues
No amount of therapy for trust issues will do away with the human tendency to protect ourselves from surprising betrayals of our trust.
We might commiserate with friends, but none of us will ever get to the point where we can honestly deny our trust issues.
Try this experiment. Take a week to exercise awareness and stop yourself to ask,
“Why am I letting my trust issues throw me off emotionally?”
Most of the time when we habitually doubt others, we think the solution is to “get rid of our inability to trust,” mostly by denying our trust issues exist.
But, consider this.
Maybe we’re asking too much when we inquire, “Can I trust you?”
We already know the answer. Deep down inside.
No one can be trusted. Not even ourselves.
So, why then, do we wager our happiness on the laurels of someone else’s virtue and our own ability to be trustworthy or not?
Trust isn’t a prerequisite to happiness
The romantic notion that a friend or partner can be trusted with our life will eventually burn our house down.
Emptily staring at a pile of ashes, we stubbornly continue to stoke our imagination with thoughts of a loved one falling on a knife for us.
We feel like a fool when colleagues throw us under the bus.
Even though we know broken trust is the rule, not the exception.
Trust is a wing and a prayer akin to religious fervor and blind faith.
Trust is a mirage
Often, the very time we choose to trust, our trust is surprisingly broken.
Conversely, we frequently fail to trust when we should.
You see, our expectations and predictions have little to do with the actual outcome of our choice to trust another human.
In fact, you’ll observe that trust is an unruly concept tied up in the whims of human nature.
We want to trust someone else when we ourselves can’t be trusted, if we’re honest.
We trust. Blind all along to our own folly.
So, how can we remain happy without trust?
I’ve personally missed the best view my entire life, because I never wanted to sit with my back to the door.
I refused to trust because I thought it might mean a greater risk of being stabbed from behind.
Trust doesn’t work this way.
Once I decided to stop putting pressure on myself to trust or to be trusted, a burden lifted.
Today, I see the sunset no one could have promised. I feel a breeze not set in motion by signing on the dotted line.
There’s no way to include enough details in a contract to protect us from ever getting hurt. Though this is what we try, whether in business or marriage.
Legal action is never what we wanted. But it’s the best we could get. To have and to hold. Until death taught us we come into relationships alone.
Trust is always meaningless when we’re near our last breath. Love is all that’s left.
And love exists all on its own, apart from the illusion we’ve created to replace the unconditional.
Let go of trust and reclaim your happiness.
LoveLifeLinks.com believes you can be happy in the here and now by letting go of your need to trust.
Remember, you can feel love anywhere, anytime, all the time.
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