Hypomania Example | The “Unimaginable”

Hypomania Example

You came here looking for a hypomania example.

*This is not a medical website. All stories and examples are based on individual experiences of those diagnosed with some form of Bipolar Disorder.

The story below will provide an example of what it’s like to live with Bipolar while also trying meet the expectations of career and family life.

Hypomanic Definition & Symptoms

First we’ll provide a summary of hypomanic symptoms and a definition of hypomania from medicinenet.com:

“Hypomania: A condition similar to mania but less severe. The symptoms are similar with elevated mood, increased activity, decreased need for sleep, grandiosity, racing thoughts, and the like. However, hypomanic episodes differ in that they do not cause significant distress or impair one’s work, family, or social life in an obvious way while manic episodes do.”

“Hypomania can subtly impair a person’s judgment. Too much confidence can conceal the consequences of decisions.”

Experiencing Hypomania

Bipolar hypomania can be a frightening experience because you don’t have a complete break from reality. Instead, you’re standing outside yourself as an observer, feeling like you’re on the verge of losing control. You can observe that something is off. As you get older, you may become more aware that your mood fluctuations are not normal. A hypomanic episode can make you doubt yourself at work, slow you down in your career and create distance between you and family members. It’s a lonely reality.

Because hypomania is a lesser form of mania, no one can visibly observe a complete loss of control. This means your internal struggle to hold it all together is invisible to the outside world.

We’re not saying full blown mania is better. We’re only emphasizing that hypomanic mood changes, though still hanging onto reality by a thread, can negatively affect one’s experience of life just like mania. (with a unique level of severity)

The older you get, the more you realize your “up” moods (hypomanic episodes) will soon be followed by a cloud that smothers all previous exuberance about life.

You begin to dread your elated moods because soon you’ll be at the mercy of slow movement, drudgery about your day, and thoughts that life isn’t worth it.

The reason we want to provide a hypomania example, is to give a view into the subtlety of the signs and symptoms.

Not everyone’s experience of hypomania will look the same. But, we hope you find hope through relating to some aspects of our story, for you, a friend, colleague, or family member.

Hypomania Example | The Unimaginable

Thoughts Running Wild

If someone, anyone, just understood the running storyline in my head, they’d sympathize with me.  They’d know how hard it is for me to color inside the lines.  I’d get permission to be myself at any given time.  They’d stop judging me.  I mean, maybe they never really did.  Judge me. 

But I certainly judged myself. 

Unless you’ve been there, you can’t know what it’s like to be between lovers.  Between the extreme highs that have nothing to do with love at all.  You can’t understand how the lows demand attention. 

You’ll also never know what it feels like to get lost in the parking deck because you’re distracted by your favorite song that’s been on repeat for days.

“Is it even necessary to go back home?” 

“Home is so boring.”

“Home is too demanding.”

I foolishly believed what they told me.  That home is where the heart is.

But it hasn’t proven to be true.  Not at all.

My heart is my mind and my mind is astray.  My mind has a mind all of its own.

“The moments when you’re in so deep
It feels easier to just swim down,”

I sang along under my breath.

Damned and blessed be the friend who introduced me to this song.

Heightened Experience of the Arts

I’ve now been roped into neurosis again by these God-awful, wonderful lyrics.

A security officer slowed down. Now singing in full voice, I quickly stopped, still aware enough to realize he questioned my sanity.  The acoustics in a parking deck are next to none. 

He was soon out of sight.

Me still singing on the verge of heaven or hell as I felt the lyrics with every fiber of my being,

“I spend hours in the garden
I walk alone to the store
And it’s quiet uptown
I never liked the quiet before.”

“You’ve got to listen to this song,” he’d said.

Days passed.

“Have you listened to the song yet?  It’s from Hamilton. Here’s a link to Kelly Clarkson’s version.” 

“I will listen to it, I promise.” 

I was feeling down when he first suggested the song and I couldn’t bring myself to click play.

“Where am I?”

I must have circled four floors of the parking deck searching for my car. 

I’d finally listened to the song he recommended. The tragedy of the song and lyrics haunted me.  I suspected I may face a real tragedy like the song described.  I’d definitely experienced loss before, but it had all been in my head. 

So far, no one that I’d ever known, had been tragically taken from me, though that was my worst fear. 

I understood holding on too tight to my child.  I understood being in too deep. 

And I understand not being able to get the volume just right, not louder than my thoughts, but loud enough to sustain my ecstasy so I can keep writing and never stop.

“Where is my car?” 

Distractions that cause disorientation

My mind swirled with disorientation.

“There are moments that the words don’t reach
There is a grace too powerful to name
We push away what we can never understand
We push away the unimaginable.”

I finally located my car, slowly got inside, and drove home, tears dangerously blurring the road before me.

Though I could relate, the lyrics were still not my own. 

Pulling into the driveway, I knew they’d been expecting me for some time.  I was late.  Dinner was delayed.

I’d have to continue listening later.  Or should I? Would I?

“But I’m not afraid
I know who I married
Just let me stay here by your side
That would be enough.”

LoveLifeLinks.com believes you can find the help you need while experiencing emotions that bring you to the brink of losing control.

Remember, you can feel love anytime, anywhere, all the time.

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