“I want to be strong,” you say.
Your feeling of weakness likely drives you to learn how to be strong.
Strength isn’t just about physical fitness.
Feeling strong is so important when it comes to having a fulfilling life of love.
It is through our inner strength that we forge the greatest friendships and develop the deepest romantic partnerships.
In relationships, we tend to think about our own strength in a few different ways.
First, we relate to our strength from the expectations people put on us as a man or woman.
Second, we measure our strength in terms of mental or emotional fitness.
Third, we seek to improve our strength through spirituality.
Fourth, we want to learn how to be strong for others.
Lastly, we want to know how to deal with difficult situations from a place of strength.
Let’s take a closer look at each of these areas wherein we evaluate our strength in relationships.
I want to be a strong man/woman
Society imposes many expectations on us. You’ve most likely been conditioned to believe that as a woman or man, you must behave in certain ways to appear strong. Sometimes, being strong is learning how to step outside society’s expectations.
Looking at ourselves from the outside in can give us a clearer idea of how strength feels to us personally. It is extremely difficult to separate our inner strength from the “idea” of strength we’ve learned growing up. Perhaps you were taught a strong man never cries or a strong man always puts women in their place.
As a woman, you may have been conditioned to believe a strong woman will tolerate her husband’s demeaning behavior, even to the extreme of physical violence or that strong women always have natural births with no medical intervention.
But along the way, we realize there is something fundamentally wrong with these perceptions of strength. Yes, many of us have evolved pretty fast and now scoff at these ridiculous notions around what makes a man or woman strong.
Yet, there are still so many who struggle to find their strength outside of expectations driven into them at a young age.
LoveLifeLinks.com believes strength is not a sudden burst of energy or haphazard behavior that leaves us feeling ashamed of our actions.
Strength as a woman or man is a steady and reliable flow of power, regardless of our sex.
Genuine strength doesn’t leave you exhausted or ashamed. Strength is innate to all humanity bonded by a common desire to survive. Yes, we are all different and naturally assume different roles at times.
However, if assuming your “assigned” role leaves you empty day after day, take the time to re-examine your context for what it means to be strong as a man or woman.
Why am I so mentally/emotionally weak?
When it comes to relationships, many times one person takes the position of “power” and the other person assumes a position of “weakness.”
Often, these relationships are termed as codependent.
For innocent onlookers, it can appear that the imbalance simply works hand in glove. Others may think the relationship dynamic is a result of natural personality differences.
But ultimately, this type of relationship leaves both partners feeling mentally and emotionally weak.
The “strong” personality type thrives on dominating the relationship. But ultimately, they know deep down, that this dominance is actually a faux display of strength.
The “weak” personality type will outwardly demonstrate mental and emotional inferiority at the expense of their self confidence and inward sense of strength. They know they’re much more powerful than meets the eye. They’re well aware that the role they play is a lie.
Then, the question becomes,
“Why am I so mentally/emotionally weak?
“Why do I constantly one-up my partner just so I can feel more powerful?”
“Why do I habitually back down in arguments among friends, just so my spouse will look superior?”
The answer is well summarized in this quote by Marianne Williamson,
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
Most often, our mental and emotional weakness is an easy substitute for embracing our own power.
How can I become spiritually powerful?
Spirituality is often a source of strength. But even with powerful spiritual constructs, we end up focusing on our weakness instead of channeling God’s strength.
We bemoan our inability to follow religious traditions or tenants to a T.
Our concept of God is based on God’s strength versus our weakness.
We forget about the personal power of choice. Our belief is that we only have the choice to move toward God. But to hyper-focus on our depravity as a spiritual follower is to ignore the supernatural knowledge that God is also moving toward us.
The irony of our pursuit for spiritual power is that we ignore the true source of power and beat ourselves up for not being powerful enough spiritually.
God is our strength.
Others depend on me to be strong
The next area of focus when it comes to being strong is our desire to be strong for others.
In this setup, we often believe that displaying emotions or expressing sadness is failing to be strong for others.
But we’d like to propose that showing others we are human, gives them the permission to be human too.
Sometimes our attempt to be strong for others, sends the message that acting like an emotional robot is synonymous with strength.
Conversely, you may be surprised to learn that being vulnerable and transparent is a sign of strength, not weakness.
I feel so weak when life gets hard
Often, especially when it comes to relationships, we feel much weaker when things get tough.
Maybe you’re devastated by a cheating spouse. Or you can’t stand the thought of one more petty argument with your partner. You’re ready to throw in the towel.
It could be that as a mother or father you thought you’d be stronger when it came to raising your kids and enforcing discipline. But as your children get older, you feel weaker. Day by day, you lose your resolve to keep trying your best as a parent.
When the pressure heats up in life, we often feel the weakest.
But here’s the deal, you will look back on your struggle and realize that you were getting stronger day by day, little by little.
Each trial, each fight, each betrayal, each disappointment–you were building muscles that you never even knew existed.
You’ll never feel your strongest at the onset of a new challenge. However, time and experience will prove your utmost strength and resilience.
Conclusion
Learning how to be strong is unique to us as individuals. Your fitness regimen depends on your mental, spiritual, and emotional physique. Don’t compare yourself to others when measuring your strength. Your intention to learn how to be strong is the first step toward becoming stronger than you ever imagined possible.
LoveLifeLinks.com believes you possess infinite strength within to live a life full of love.
