“I feel so alone,” you say. We understand. Let it be said that no one is immune to feeling alone. Sometimes, loneliness suddenly sneaks up on us. Other times, we’ve dealt with feeling alone for a lifetime.

“I am so lonely in my relationship.”

It doesn’t matter whether you’re young or old, alone or in a relationship–it is perfectly normal to feel isolated at certain times in our life. There are obvious reasons we feel this way and then not so obvious reasons. In this article, we’re going to explore different reasons for loneliness. Hopefully some of these insights will give you a reprieve from sadness and you’ll begin to see a new way forward.

Top 5 reasons for Loneliness

1. I feel so alone in life (existentialism)
2. My relationship leaves me feeling lonely
3. I feel alone in a crowd
4. My family doesn’t know me
5. Someone left me

I feel so alone in life

Sometimes the state of being lonely is existential. You can’t really point to any reason or circumstance that explains why you feel lonely. But your life just has an overwhelming sense of not being connected to others around you. You feel isolated and may not understand where other people are coming from. Your styles and tastes may be different than your closest acquaintances. So, because of this underlying, persistent feeling–you get really frustrated, stay to yourself, avoid social situations, and assume you’re doomed to feel this way for the rest of your life.

I feel so alone in life, like no one sees me.

Can you point to a time in your life when you started to feel this way? Is there a major life event that put a wedge between you and the rest of the world? These are some things you can ask yourself to get to the bottom of your feelings and start to move forward with life. Often, we may have experienced a loss that set us in the downward spiral of existential loneliness. Or maybe you’ve really just never come to accept yourself or learn what you love apart from someone else’s company, styles, and tastes.

Yes, it’s normal to be lonely in life sometimes. But it doesn’t have to be a permanent state.

I Feel So Alone in my Relationship

Some people think that they are lonely because they are not in a relationship. They think to themselves,

“If I just had a boyfriend or girlfriend, I wouldn’t feel alone anymore.”

You may spend a large portion of your time looking for that perfect person to fill your void, only to realize later that when you’re in a relationship, you still feel a void on the inside. This can be one of the most difficult revelations about loneliness–that being in a relationship with someone else doesn’t necessarily fix your problem. So, what can you do when you’re in a relationship, but you still feel like the lone wolf? Take the time to examine whether you are open to vulnerability with your spouse.

Think about the times when you felt most connected to your partner. Now, ask yourself how you might ignore your past hurts and put away your fear of getting hurt again, for the longer-term aim of not feeling lonely anymore.

Alone in a Crowd

The paradox of loneliness is that being around people doesn’t necessarily fix your problem. In fact, sometimes the loneliest people are found in the midst of a huge concert, a large church service, an extended family gathering. In those situations, we’re often forced to go with the “happy” flow of energy. And many times, we put on an outright façade that everything is ok in our life. In fact, others may never guess that we’re feeling the way we feel.

So, what can we do when this is happening? We can intentionally connect with someone particular, whose eyes are floating among a sea of lonely hearts just waiting to be seen. If you’re feeling this way, there’s a good chance others are too. Start by complimenting a stranger. Ask someone about their day. Inquire and don’t forget to listen.

I Feel So Alone in my Family

We’ve written about this in another article, so won’t spend a great deal of time on it here. You’d think that having a family would serve as a haven of similar ideas and tastes. It might seem that your family would know you best, have your best interest at heart. But again, sometimes, we take our family members for granted. We know they are our brother, sister, cousin, mom, and dad for life–so why do we need to intentionally cultivate a relationship with them? And that’s the point at which loneliness takes hold.

Again, whether you’re around a lot of people you don’t know, or with a group of family who you’ve spent your entire life with–the cure is to stay vulnerable and open. Keep seeking. Don’t stop caring. Even if you feel sad or small on the inside, reaching out to get to know your family member will begin to detract from your feelings of loneliness and open the door for real connection again.

My Wife/Husband Left me

Last, but not least–one of the most common reasons we feel so alone is that we ARE alone–someone left us. Maybe your wife or husband walked out the door recently and you have this gaping hole in your heart that you believe you’ll never fill. This can create some of the most excruciating pain. Don’t despair. This is not a one-way ticket to a life alone. Some of us have lost our loved one to cancer or some other terminal disease that was a sudden onset and we’re left to pickup the pieces.

Poem about Losing a Loved One

Loneliness has never been familiar to us, but now, it’s all we feel. Remember, love and connectedness and universal togetherness are not finite. There is always a chance to love again. There is always a chance to reconnect, even if simply on the plane of having our humanity in common with someone else. Take the time to express gratitude for the moments you had with your loved one. Mourn your loss. But open your heart again, giving yourself full permission to enjoy a life together with someone else in need of companionship.

Summary

In summary, here are the 5 ways we suggest you emerge from your state of feeling alone:

1. Identify what or who you lost, when and why–so that you can move forward.

2. Show greater vulnerability in your loving relationships.

3. Find common ground or break new ground by showing interest in someone else.

4. Don’t take your family for granted–get to know them again.

5. Mourn your loss and move forward, open to love.

Don’t lose heart. Many times, feeling unloved and loneliness go hand-in-hand.

So, remember, you are loved, and love is infinite.

Read more about Finding Love to Fight Loneliness

LoveLifeLinks.com believes love can cure loneliness.

You can feel love anywhere. Anytime. All the time.